Altar Egoes
by XPinkSpiderX
Summary: So we all know that France asked England to marry him, but what if it had actually worked? ...And England's boyfriend, America were to find out? USxUK
1. Engagement

**Spider-chan: **This fic is in celebration of my first day of summer! While other kids go outside and play, I stay here and write boy love x3 sooo worth it. Sadly, I don't own Hetalia.

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Where it all began...

Arthur/England POV

I shifted uncomfortably in my seat while the awkward silence lingered over the two of us. Not only were we not exceptionally close, but that I was sitting straight across from one of THE most obnoxious human beings in existence didn't help the situation. Suddenly, his gaze fell to the floor. I raised an eyebrow in suspicion.

"Arthur…there's something I have to ask you…" Francis muttered slowly, then trailed off for a few seconds. At this point, I detected a hint of embarrassment upon his features.

"Will you…marry me?"

I honestly thought my heart stopped for a moment as those words rang in my ears.

"What?" I felt my face flush in disgust. This seriously HAD to be a joke…

He stayed silent, seemingly expecting an answer. HAD to be a joke…

"H-Hey, Francis…today isn't April Fool's Day." I reminded him. Why would he joke me like this out of nowhere? Regardless, it wasn't funny.

An air of gloom passed over him as I stood out of my chair, nervously laughing at such a stupid joke. "What, are you too screwed up to buy a calendar?" I was still praying to God that this was a joke. Quite frankly, I was sweating bullets out of apprehension.

"No, I bought a calendar…" He trailed off again, still melancholy.

My face fell. "What's with that reaction…?" I questioned.

Abruptly, he slipped a white sheet of paper accompanied with a pen across the table to me. The words on the paper read: "Marriage Registration".

"Here ya go."

This evidently WASN'T a joke. "That's a marriage registration form, you idiot!" I bellowed. He couldn't be serious. As if I'd ever agree to such a thing!

Swiftly, his hand grabbed a firm hold on mine, pen in hand.

"No, no…its…a calendar…" His eyes turned more fierce now.

"What?" This guy was insane…

His hold grew tighter on my hand. "This is a calendar!"

Now I was growing impatient…and angry. "Let go of me!" I demanded. "You're kinda scary today."

He forced my hand downwards and towards the marriage agreement. "W-Wait up!" I protested, but it was to no avail. With his hand moving and overpowering my own, he began to form the first few letters of my name onto the sheet.

"Why the hell are you making me sign this?!" I insisted.

E-N-G….

"Cut it out!!!" I ordered.

"Hey! What is this all about, Francis?!" I struggled against him.

"This is all that's left!" He shouted back. "It's not like I _want _to do this!"

He broke into a pitiful sob, "But…my house is in a slump with the whole Suez Canal deal, and my superior said…that…if I don't merge with you…I…I…I might die!"

I elbowed him as best I could. He stepped back in reaction. "I don't want to marry you for that reason!" Like hell, I was going to be a scapegoat for his petty problems!

He vigorously grabbed my hand back again and practically shoved me against the desk. Try as I did to resist, he held firm. He moved the pen with my hand and began to form the last letters of my name.

L-A…

"Damnit, stop! You can't just _force_ someone into a marriage!!"

N-D.

I felt like my heart had fallen out of my chest when I saw my full name on that paper…written in my hand…

"Yes! I'm quite grateful for this!! A lot of good will come from this, you'll see! I'm saved!" He celebrated.

While the overwhelming sense of wanting to punch this bastard in the face swept over me, another thought registered in my mind: I was legally married.

…What the hell was my boyfriend going to say?

--

Alfred/America POV

I sat munching contently on my hamburger, waiting for Arthur to come back from his meeting already. He sure was taking his good old time…

When I heard the violent slamming of the back door, I knew it had to be him. Yes, that was my boy alright.

"Hi, honey!" I called from where I was sitting. Though as usual, I got no loving response.

I heard the trudging of Arthur's shoes against the floor. Judging by his face, something had happened to piss him off.

Burger in hand, I pulled my grumpy boyfriend into an embrace. "How was it?"

"…"

"Huuhhhh?" I pushed it. I was honestly curious.

His tense face stayed solid. No response.

"…Did something happen?"

"…"

"Aww, c'mon, tell me! What happened?!" I shook him slightly to snap him out of his angry trance.

His hands balled into fists and his features lowered. "You wanna know why I'm upset!?" His voice was rising in ire.

"Mhm." I replied. *munch*

"I'm MARRIED, that's why!" He barked.

It took a few moments for those words to actually register in my mind, but when they did, I did a spit take with the pieces of hamburger in my mouth.

"…WHHHAAAATTTT?!?!?!?!?"

--

**Spider-chan: **Aww, minor France-bashing. Its okie, we still love you. I truly don't know if I should even finish this. Should I?


	2. Denial

**Spider-chan: **I've decided to continue for two reasons. One: I honestly don't think I could do that to one of my fics, they're like my children. Two: You people are too sweet to leave hanging! xD Thank you all for the feedback and support, I just hope that this story pleases you.

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Alfred/America POV

"…WHHHAAAATTTT?!?!?!?!?"

His eyes lidded over in defeat. "…Yes…I'm…married."

My mouth dropped open. At first, I thought he was kidding; now I wasn't so sure. I chuckled nervously. "Hah. Good one, sweetie. That's funny…"

His expression didn't alter. "You think I'm kidding?! That idiot Francis is my husband!" He snarled.

I felt tears beginning to prick at the corners of my eyes when I heard the word 'husband'. How could he do this to me? "B-but…but…b-but…" I stuttered, stunned. However, I wasn't about to stand for this without reason.

Spasmodically, I gripped both of his shoulders and began to rapidly shake him. "What the _hell_ happened at that meeting?!?!" I screamed.

Annoyed, he shoved me off of him. "It's not like I _want_ to be married to him! I can't stand him!" He bit back.

"Then how does that make any sense?! Why would you marry him?!" I was thoroughly confused now. Why would he leave me for someone he hated?

"I just said I don't _want_ to, but I am! The bastard forced me to sign a marriage agreement. And it's in my own hand writing, it's legit. There's nothing I can do." He explained somewhat calmly.

Well, I certainly wasn't going to be calm about it. My boyfriend was MARRIED! That's not exactly something I take lightly.

"There has to be something! Because if he thinks I'm going to share you with him, he's mistaken!" I was never so sure about something I'd said in my life.

"Unfortunately, until I figure something out, you're going to have to learn to. Or if you can't handle that, we'll separate for now. Your choice." He said icily.

I gasped to myself when he said that, taken back by his hostility. "Please…I don't want to fight. Not now. I just really want to talk about this. It-its making me sick…" I whimpered.

He folded his arms across his chest. "I really don't feel like talking right now. I've had my fill of it. I honestly don't even want to think about it."

"You can't just pretend it didn't happen!" I snapped.

His eyebrows knitted in anger. "I realize that! But I'm done for now! I'm going upstairs." He stated firmly and turned his back to me, walking towards the staircase.

"What if _I'm_ not done?!" I demanded.

He didn't even bother to reply; just walked up the steps without another word being said.

"Uuuggghhhh!" I growled, simultaneously letting out a long breath. Not only did I HATE when we fought like this, but now I really needed to discuss this and he was mad. Whether it was at me or Francis or both had yet to be decided.

But honestly, what the hell was I going to do? There was no chance of me breaking up with him, but I still didn't like this whole marriage business. Even if Arthur didn't like it, it didn't change the fact that he still was. And why did Francis want him anyway? There had to be something he wasn't telling me…

Man, oh, man was this next Allied Powers meeting to be hell.

--

Meeting Room

I couldn't even focus that well. Typically, I was the main speaker, but today, we all had sort of taken turns talking. Even then, I barely had anything to say. But how could you expect me to keep attention to this when I had bigger problems?

China elbowed me softly to grab my attention. "You okay?" He whispered.

It was then that I noticed that Francis had sat down right next to Arthur. He extended out his arm and wrapped it around Arthur's thin shoulders. My eyes melted into a glare.

"…Fine…" I replied through clenched teeth. China took that as a threat to back off and thus obeyed.

I never recalled being so angry at anyone or anything as I was with him. Then again, no one ever wrecked my relationship by marrying my boyfriend. However, I _wasn't _jealous. No, that'd be a step too far. After all, there wasn't anything to be jealous of. Arthur didn't like him, so that's all that mattered…

Still, it really pissed me off to see his arm around my boy. B-but I wasn't jealous…!

Arthur's face turned to pure disgust as Francis pulled him closer, calling him 'husband'.

I wished I had a napkin to bite. WASN'T. JEALOUS.

…-sigh- Denial: party of one. He was still my boyfriend, but now he was also someone's husband. And that was a problem for me; it angered me to no end. And yes, I was even slightly jealous. However, I wasn't going to take it.

There had to be a solution to this situation somewhere… and you bet I was going to find it. Even if Arthur had given up completely, I wasn't. Keep your arms around him while you can, Francis, I'm going to find a loophole.

--

**Spider-chan: **That was bittersweet, but I needed to have Alfred freak xD Hope you still likey. I'll be back with more soonish.


	3. Scheme

**Spider-chan: **I'm quite excited to continue this. 'Cuz we all know that jealous Alfred is awesome! France, no matter what happens here, I promise we all still love ya.

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Arthur POV

"Hm…Divorce?" He suggested.

I shook my head. "Impossible. A divorce can only take effect if both spouses are willing to consent. And we all know he 'needs' me." I explained, using air quotes escorting the word "need".

He stayed quiet and paced back and forth rapidly, cutting the air with his body. Thus far, coming up with any ideas had been to no avail.

He stopped in place and grunted to himself. "Why don't we just club him and throw him in a sack?"

"…Because that's illegal. And besides, the Allies still need him…as much as I hate to admit."

It stayed quiet for a moment as Alfred went through his thought process again. He tapped his index finger against his bottom lip considerately.

"Well…what if you could get it annulled?" He proposed.

Before I rebuttled with a 'no', I reflected upon the concept. It did have some potential…

"As in, claim that it never existed. It sounds legit. After all, you two were the only witnesses." He continued.

I snapped back into reality. "That all is true, but he could just take out that damn paper and show his proof that there was a marriage between us." I clarified.

"…Damn."

Still, I had to admit, I liked the idea. It seemed like it could work…if only…

Enlightenment suddenly came to me. My features had to have been beaming at this point.

"Alfred, what does Francis desire more than anything?" I asked nonchalantly.

He seemed to muse on it quickly. "…Sex?" He attempted a guess.

"…No. Flattery." I corrected him.

He cocked his head to the side in confusion. "Not following, honey."

"Say I flatter him by being a good little husband, I get him to show me where it is he's keeping the marriage agreement." I began.

"…Then?" He still seemed unclear about it.

I sighed. Having to walk him through everything got a bit annoying. "Then I destroy it. That way, the marriage literally doesn't exist anymore. It's even better than an annulment."

"What if that doesn't work?" He questioned, concern set in his eyes.

"Then I guess I'm doomed to stay married." I answered solemnly. Although admittedly, I was terrified of that happening. Being married to him was pure horror.

"…I was afraid you'd say that." Alfred added hesitantly.

--

Alfred POV

If this didn't work, I could pretty much kiss my relationship with Arthur goodbye. That risk was what really worried me the most, but what other choice did we have? We couldn't just sit back and do nothing. Even if we didn't succeed, I'd much rather we fail trying.

Arthur looked at me with uncertainty. "Here it goes." He sighed.

My eyes grew downcast. I took hold of his chin and tilted his face upwards. He looked at me with distant sincerity and hadn't it been for the situation, I would've truly basked in this moment.

"I trust you, Arthur. I know you can do this." I smiled casually. Before three seconds had gone by, I seized his lips with my own.

He eagerly kissed back with gentle force, pressing his lips back with a sweet firmness. All too soon, however, he broke apart from me.

I looked into his glassy emerald eyes just before he turned away from my direction and began to walk towards the room.

"No matter what happens, just remember that I love you, sweetheart!" I called after him.

Without looking at him, I could sense the smile that crept up on his lips.

"I love you too. Now excuse me, but I have to go wreck my marriage…" He said as he disappeared from sight and into the room.

--

**Spider-chan:** One more chapter, loves! Hehe.


	4. Good Little Husband

**Spider-chan: **Beginning of the end, dears. –sigh- I certainly hope this ending isn't total fail…

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Arthur POV

I swung the door behind me shut, granting me a startled look from my…husband. I sauntered towards him slowly, simultaneously forcing the fakest smile I could to spread across my face.

"Hello, dear." My voice cracked with subtle falseness.

His blue eyes immediately glued to me, apparently he wasn't expecting me to be so 'sweet'. Not that I blamed him for suspecting his husband-against-his-will to be somewhat bitter.

"Arthur..?" He cocked his head to the side questionably.

I gulped hard and did something I otherwise would never have even fathomed doing. As I approached him, I swiftly slid into the folds of his lap, looping my arms around the rear of his neck in the process. Meanwhile, I was starting to lose virtually all self-respect I'd once had…

"W-what are you…?" He trailed off, a blush surging across his cheeks.

"Sh…" I silenced him, tracing his lips lightly with my index finger.

I could tell from his perplexed face that my actions were thoroughly confusing him, but at the same time, I heard no complaints from him. Seducing him was a much easier task than I'd imagined.

I leaned closer to his face, our noses brushed together lightly. Swallowing what pride I had left, I wrenched forward and captured his lips with my own. He began to return the kiss, prying my lips apart with his tongue and slipping it into my mouth.

It was a rather nasty feeling, kissing someone you severely disliked, but I had to make it seem convincing. Therefore, I began to massage his tongue with my own, locking them in a heated battle. I entangled my hands in his messy blonde hair and pulled him into me more. Sure, I didn't like it, but when I substituted him for Alfred in my mind, it made things much less complicated.

--

Alfred POV

I wrung my hands together apprehensively. He'd been in there for awhile now. I knew that this would have to take time, but my curiosity got the better of me. I would just take one quick look, see how it was going, then be satisfied.

I gripped the door handle steadily and cracked it open ever so slightly. At first I couldn't see them, then my eyes landed on the two (who were currently absorbed in their make-out, I'll have you know). For some reason, this made my guts feel like they'd been set on fire. True, this was all a part of Arthur's plan, but the fact that I was watching my boyfriend getting a tongue-bath by this pervert wasn't exactly comforting.

I gripped the wooden frame of the door angrily. Somehow, no matter how much it was pissing me off, I couldn't take my eyes off of them.

--

Arthur POV

I kept the idea in my mind that somewhere in this room, my marriage form had to be lying around. After all, the whole reason I called Francis here to meet me was "So that we may discuss its bounds." I just had to locate it.

Still fastened in the passionate kiss, I loosened my arms from his golden locks and blindly began to feel around behind him. Being the natural genius that he was, he didn't take notice of this. All I could feel thus far was the smooth wood of the table, no real luck. But then, my right hand brushed something rather thin and flimsy. I recognized it as a piece of paper, but I couldn't be sure if it was the one I needed or not.

Oh, well. No matter what it was, it was going to be destroyed. I snaked my other arm behind his back and gripped the paper firmly. A wave of confusion crossed his face when he heard the sound of something being torn behind him. Abruptly, he broke from the kiss.

"What was that?" He questioned me. An artificial smirk befell me. Although I had no idea if what I'd ripped was the document needed, I could at least lure him into thinking I did so.

"Getting rid of it." I answered and his mystified exterior threw a few more silent questions at me. "The evidence of our marriage, of course."

His jaw dropped in astonishment; he looked like someone had just slapped him. "WHAT?!?!?!?" He shrieked, jerking upwards in response, knocking me to the floor.

I quickly regained composure and came to my feet. "Yes, it's gone. Get over it." I said rather coldly, eyes melting into a narrow, somewhat glare.

"B-but!! Why…?" His voice cracked to a pitiful sob.

"Because there was no marriage!" I retorted.

He looked partially guilty. Simultaneously, very hurt and upset.

"All that took place was the fact that you forced me to sign an agreement against my will. Well, now I've gotten rid of it. I'm not your husband!" I went on.

"But, I neeeeeed this marriage! It's all that will save me!!" Francis' face was a mixture of melancholic and pained.

Still, I had no sympathy for him. I would never marry someone like him, but to force me into something was crossing the line. I'd had enough of being 'the little husband' who would supposedly help him.

--

Alfred POV

I knew I should have stopped watching them awhile ago, but my body felt like it was permanently suspended where I was. I stood there watching the scene before me, completely awestruck. I'd never seen Francis so pathetic or Arthur so forceful. Actually, brutality was rather sexy on him…

I could've felt sorry for Francis in this predicament if I wasn't still pissed at him for marrying Arthur. Oh well, the situation was slowly being resolved. Thankfully, he wouldn't have to be anyone's 'husband' any longer. The thought brought a smile to my face.

As if I would stand for him being married. He was mine. And I'd be damned if he would have married anyone that wasn't me…

--

Arthur POV

I sucked in a deep, calming breath. As I tried to gather my thoughts between my ire and Francis' weeping, I noticed Alfred eyeing the two of us from behind the thickened wooden door. I couldn't read if his was an expression of concern or self-reassurance that everything had worked out. Truthfully, I didn't know if everything had been solved or not…

I scanned the floor with my eyes rapidly, searching silently for the two shreds of the paper I'd ripped. Sure enough, I spotted one on the floor adjacent to the desk. I sighed in relief when my mind registered the word 'Marriage' on the half sheet. I'd ripped up the exact document I needed to. Though leave it to Francis to just leave something important like that lying around…

Still, I needed to milk this for all it was worth. I turned to Francis and stared him down intently. "So…you admit that no _real_ marriage took place?"

Francis sniffled. "Well…" He murmured dejectedly.

Just the fact that he was about to admit this to be the truth was all I truly needed.

"Good." I smiled victoriously and turned on my heel to leave, not even bothering to glance back at the pitiful mess my 'husband' now was.

Alfred's face lit up as I walked towards him. As if in cue, he leapt from his place behind the door and jolted towards me at a hasty speed. I rolled my eyes as his idiotic gesture, yet still appreciated it deep down.

I grasped a hold of my thin, jacket-encased arm and pulled me out of the room with him at a mind-numbing pace. Before I even had time to blink twice, Alfred had whisked me out into the room outside that of the one I'd just been occupying.

I couldn't help but chuckle slightly at his childish excitedness. "Alfred, what in the world…?" I mused aloud.

He brought me into a firm, bone-crushing, almost possessive embrace. "I don't know, Arthur. I really don't. I just…feel a LOT better now that you aren't a married man!" He ventured a guess concerning his own actions.

I smiled and returned the hug, easily taking in the comforting warmth of his body. "So do I. You have no idea…"

"After all, if you were to marry anyone, it'd definitely be me." He said with confidence, nuzzling his face into the crook of my neck, inhaling my scent.

I sighed slightly at this remark. I was pretty sure I'd had enough of being married…for now. But being married to someone against your will as opposed to being married to someone you love dearly, well, those things lie on two entirely different plains.

For a moment, I considered what it would be like to be with this man for the rest of my life belonging to him as fully as he would me. And honestly, I didn't mind that at all…

"…"

He took my stillness as a success. "I didn't hear you say 'no'."

I smiled as warmly as my body would allow and looked passionately into his beautiful blue eyes. I whispered sweetly, just audible enough for him to hear before bringing him into a loving kiss.

"Exactly, Alfred…"

--

**Spider-chan**: Wells, that was LAME!!! ;_; I apologize. Also, I apologize for such a late update, I forgot to mention that summer make a total lazybones outta me. Take care, loves~


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